Summer Rain

I see the sun bursting into the sky and the hot leather seat crawls with intangible flames as we drive into the open. It may be the hottest summer day I have experienced, and it bewilders me. Spring just came from what I call an eternal winter, but the avalanche won and it may have consumed what was supposed to be a fresh start. Now the sun is getting its revenge, and it's not pretty.

 "It's freaking hot, could I turn the AC up just a little bit?", Erica asked from the backseat. I called shotgun the moment I saw the forecast so I could have more cool air. The glaring sun exudes more heat than I imagined, so my cool air would not suffice at all. "Yeah, just a little bit please?", I regret not putting on sunscreen this morning. My pale skin would not hold up to this kind of heat, and I would have an unsightly blush throughout the trip. "It's turned all the way up. At this rate we may have to fill up again, so prepare some cash." He doesn't look very happy,  having to drive in the busy streets of L.A. with this kind of weather. We both love driving in the rain, but our friends insisted that we should go today. 

  This trip to the beach is the last thing we wanted to do. Our once happy days were replaced by shouting and crying at night. Hanging out in the back of his car turned into writing all night, and him playing games. Every thread of love is gone and dissolved by time and distance. I was not his other half anymore, and the three years we've been together seemed to pass together with the time.  As soon as we get there, everyone jumped out of the car and ran towards the water. We didn't even settled down and got dressed for the beach, we just all rolled up our trousers and some lifted up the waist of their skirts. We all had the thirst for the sea, especially how the sun is setting in the horizon and the water cooled enough for it to relieve our burned ankles. As soon as the sun was nowhere to be seen, we headed to the villa and unpacked our clothing. I was feeling feverish from the travel, so I decided to go out tomorrow morning.   

I stared at the ceiling for so long and then I heard the door creak. I slowly look up and I saw you standing in the doorway. "Can I come in?", you weren't looking pretty happy. My heart felt like it was escaping my chest, banging its way into my ribs and ripping out the flesh apart. "Sure, have a seat." I continued staring at my ceiling, and I can feel the tension arising as we wait for each other to speak."Um..", I stopped when we uttered the same word together. "No, you go ahead.", I wasn't sure of what I was going to say anyway. "So listen, you know that I have always loved you right?", I knew but now you don't sound sure about it. "Well, yeah I guess..", I said under my breath as I feel the waves slowly creeping up my nerves. "But lately, I've been thinking that maybe, just maybe..."  

Joshua was with Erica after all. He's been trying to contact me all week, trying to tell me. Since I have my finals and he's got work on the weekends, it was just impossible for us to communicate. "Sorry I had to ruin this trip for you, but it just couldn't wait any longer. I'm really sorry." I couldn't just tell you that everything was fine, because it isn't. There's never a good time for bad news, but you could've done it in another way. Tears slowly crept from the corner of my eyes when I begged for you to leave, even if my heart wanted you to stay and comfort me. Every fabric of my being pleaded for you to not do this, but you did.  

The waves crashed to the giants rocks where Erica and I were seated. I forced myself to just get over it, even for a while. The moon lights up the shoreline weakly, but just enough for me to see him. Joshua has always been important to me. All these years he has been by my side, and now I'm forced to be alone. I know that I can live life without him, it's just that I never thought I'd have to be. Love is so short, forgetting is so long. I hated the fact that he had to begin his break-up by telling me that he loves me. If only I could hate him as much as I loved him, but I never could. "Hey Erika, you better go back inside. A thunderstorm is coming...", I said in a wavering voice. "But it's the middle of summer! There can't be a thunderstorm.", she exclaimed. "Well I'm sure as hell it's going to rain all night.", and tears started flowing down my cheeks.

My Sunset is Your Sunrise.

We were childhood friends. Tadashi's father worked in the same firm as mine. They would leave us together in the park during the day, where would sit by the swings or take turns in catching each other in the slides. By evening, we would come to each other's homes. During lunch, our parents would chatter on how we're gonna be inseperable forever. We ate our food in the fields, and have a contest on who sees the most airplanes passing by. You would always win our little game. I used to call you  my older brother, but you turn bright red and ask me to stop every time. 

By highschool, we have grown quite apart. You took interest in science, while I was more inclined in arts. As time goes by, we go from walking to school together to barely saying hi when we bump into each other in the hallways. My regret never faded until this day, on how I was too foolish to let time rip us apart. Throughout highschool, I ate my lunch alone in the study hall, feeling desolated as my other half left this sillage; while he must be in the cafeteria working on something. 

One day, while I was silently playing with my food, I heard the door open behind me. "Akemi?", it was surreal, why is Tadashi here? "Akemi, I was wondering if that painting by the stairwell was your work?", he said. I could not believe he would notice my trademark, as it has been 2 years since we last talked to each other. "Ah, yes. What about it?" He sat down next to me and looked at his lunch tray. "Well it looked really nice. And, uh.. well.. aside from that..", he muttered, "I was wondering if I could eat my lunch with you again?" My heart raced and I could feel my cheeks flush with excitement. I smiled and answered, "Of course!". You opened your lunch and we began talking about things in the past two years as I began being engulfed in the moment. 

There was a lot of differences between Tadashi and I. Tadashi was more of stern, responsible and appetent for success. I was a creative soul, just letting my instincts take over my actions and decisions. It was amazing that we still managed to feel a connection between us. We would lie down in our blankets after class, just staring at the stars and throwing caution to the wind. Our talks would go endless until we reach our respective curfews. 

Before our summer vacation, Tadashi rented a boat so we could row through the nearby river. We set the perfect date and time so we could still manage to get home as soon as possible. We rowed miserably and spun in huge circles. We laughed so hard at our incompetence when you looked at me suddenly. "Akemi, I.." My world stopped revolving and suddenly it was all you. "I love you, Akemi. I always have." As redamancy washed my whole existence, I bowed my head slightly and smiled the biggest smile. "I love you as well, Tadashi-kun." You leaned forward, and we kissed. The sunset was glowing in our faces, and it was as beautiful as ever. 

After 3 years, Tadashi was set to fly to New York so he could pursue his medical career. I could feel his excitement emitting to all of us inside the car, while I am feeling very restless. Our days together felt endless and full of joy, and I am sad as ever that it's reached its peak in this moment. I tried to look enthralled as you are, but it was a shame I am aspectabund. You wrapped your arms around me tightly and I closed my eyes. I've been fighting my tears the entire trip and I could not let them go right now.

"Akemi, I'm sorry. I don't think this is going to work out anymore.." You said while enveloping me in your arms. I was silent, as a single word would cause my tears and screams I am suppressing to be free into the wind. You boarded the train and waved goodbye. Foolishly, my tears fell as I tried to run with the train to catch up with you. "No, Tadashi! Please, I love you so much! No!", the words escape from my mouth as I sob relentlessly. 

The sound of serenity is slowly calming me on most nights. We are separated by our dreams, our futures, our distance. My beloved Tadashi and I are now living on different sides of the world, casting our own shadows at the opposite directions at noon. "Goodbye, Tadashi...", she said as she drifted back to sleep drowning in her own sadness.

Disconnection Notice

You sent me a Facebook message saying hey.

It has been 2 months since we've been constantly sending each other messages, texting each other in the wee hours of the night, and even seeing each other sometimes. We talk about anything under the sun: books, movies, shows, studies... anything. We enjoyed each other's company so much. Actually, how can we not? We talk every single day. I know almost everything about you- what makes you engrossed in our conversations, what makes you pissed off, how you want things to work out for you and all those little things I notice. But sometimes, I wonder, am I the only one who notices those things?

I got on my bike and travelled across the village, trying to keep my mind of you. I have this certain obsession with you that nobody could ever comprehend. I'm off to my favorite coffee shop just on the outskirts of this place. People rarely visit the place, as teenaged girls like me prefer going to Starbucks. It's rarely quiet in there and people are merely putting on a facade. That overpriced frappuccino would not be worth it since I needed a place to write my songs. 

I rang the bell, waiting for Eric to open the door and greet me with a huge smile. On the contrary, he looked forlorn but forced a smile in his face when he saw me. Eric told me the shop may close soon, as the manager is not really earning much. I gave him a tight hug, and heaved a sigh. He smiled and asked me, "The usual?" This guy knows me just as much as he probably did. 

I took out my guitar from its case and caressed the embellishments I made my friend paint on. Eric placed my chocolate latte with extra milk and a pen, my usual orders, and sat across the booth. He is fond of listening to my compositions. I scribbled lyrics on the napkin, but crossing them out in frustration afterwards. I asked for a shot of espresso and let my thoughts wander of a bit.

I asked you once on your thoughts about relationships. Being a hopeless romantic, I told you all of my stories of my failures in love. You laughed at all of them, and you forced me to laugh at all of them. You promised me brighter days and a stronger heart. You'll make me strong, you swore. We would then shift to less serious topics, and the discussion would be buried and forgotten. 

I decided that now is not a day I could finish a song. I played one of my favorites so as to not disappoint Eric. I payed for my coffee, thanked him, and biked away. I do not want to go home, not yet, unless I am 100% composed. I passed by every street in our village: Oak, Elm, Redwood.. and so on. The mighty trees bearing a name for each corner I pass by. I made 2 rounds, even stopping by a pastry shop to buy cream puffs and tea for my mother, yet you're still running through all the corners of my brain. I just could not stop thinking about you.

"You're too occupied on men.", you said. I could never forget the night we argued and I wept without you knowing it. I was swallowing every drop of my pride just so I could understand you fully. Your every word sent daggers to my chest, closing up my throat as I gasp for breath. You are blaming me for being too in love. For being too in love for you. And because of that, I never told you. 

I fumbled with my keys in my basket, looking for the right one as I approach my home. I took a turn on the curb, kicked the stand of my bicycle and grabbed the paper bag from the pastry shop. I opened the front door, left the bag in the counter and ran up to the stairs. I hurriedly opened my laptop and signed in to my Facebook account.

You were in a relationship with someone else.

The next day, the rain was unbelievably strong yet I decided to go out. I did not bother get my umbrella or wear a raincoat. I got on my bike, pedaling furiously with my eyes squinted as I tried to see my path. I parked my bike on its usual spot and walked towards the entrance. I was freezing from the cold air blowing through my soaked clothes. I stared at the sign, and the sign stared back at me. Its words were emblazoned on the bright red background, saying "We're closed."

I sat down on the pavement and watched the cars passing by, probably heading to Starbucks. 

I could not believe you remember my love for coffee. 

Recovering the Past

2123

I had always been eccentric. I took up Archeology for my extra credit class, which is different from 99% of the population in our institution. Out of the 900 kids who could afford education here in my subdivision, only 17 of us took up archeology. According to history, men used to excavate the soil in order to attain artifacts. There was no land present in earth anymore, as all the ground was covered in asphalt for convenience. Normal soil would collapse hundred of buildings in a small hectare of land. For   now, reading something from paper is what archeologists do.

I went to the biggest book mine to start my final requirement. I floated to every isle, looking for quite an interesting topic to discuss about human behavior. For sure, the topic about something called nature would prevail among the class. I looked through all sections ranging from Religion, Languages, Social Sciences, as I reached the Fiction section. I used to go here to laugh at all the assumptions of the human kind of the human kind were, and how absurd they seemed. But alas, this library contained and preserved far more books than the normal library I went to. It had a section very unfamiliar, as it was the first time I encountered such word. Romance.

Once, there was a myth that a lady travelled through time in order to fullfill her dreams of being in love. Love was a very unnatural thing to say, as love was something made by mankind ages ago to procreate. We have test tubes, sperm banks, egg incubators and all of those in all hospitals owned by the government. We do not need love anymore. But the story says that once she came back, she could not stop crying. According to her, she lost the feeling that made her feel alive and a human once again. She commited suicide right at that moment.

I got curious and I picked a book from the shelf. It was entitled "Lovers Lost In Space". I grabbed some gloves from the shelf as the book was delicate due to old age. The cover was pretty bleak, just a picture of a rose floating in space, its petals slowly cascading. It was hardbound, just like most of the books in this library. The paperbacks were contained in a specially airconditioned floor, and I hate the cold as much as I hate being more careful than being informed. It looked very common, as most books I have touched are pretty much similar to it, belonging to the era of the last set of published books in 2078.

On the contrary, the feelings that transpired to my brain are very unusual. There was also the tingling sensation in my spinal bone, the cloud of mist developing in my stomach, my blood rushing to my vessels as my heart was pumping more than the usual rate per second. It was a feeling of a rush I have never experienced, as I have never witnessed something that bizaare in my whole existence. Is that the feeling of love? Is that the feeling the woman wanted so much that she exchanged her own life just to get it back? 

Curiosity spread like a wildfire in my brain as I checked out of the book mine. I needed a proper research, so I switched on the data connector chip implanted on my brain by clicking the switch behind my ear. I needed a pass to the alternate dimension. That was how the woman was rumored to travel through time. I booked my shift in around 30 minutes, allowing me to pack up and prepare for the travelling. I ordered an elixir to lessen drowsiness and flesh deterioration as my journey was counterflowing through the natural course of energy in the time continuum.

I turned on my light shield, wore my safety goggles and shut my eyes. This is going to be a fun ride.

2012

My eyes opened and I saw an unfamiliar territory. I know that laboratories are very prominent in our era, but it was a lot different to the one I am seeing now. There are wires everywhere; networking bulky computers and equipments that seemed so medieval in my era. People are actually walking, and it's weird that they still seemed like they lacked body maintenance. Perhaps it was because of the change in diet- everything was grown organically and manufactured using no oil, as there was none left, and people technically ate the same things. Chemical engineering was highly improved at around the year 2025, and it continued to evolve throughout the years. I blinked a couple of times to adjust my vision, and we were welcomed in a highly secured area the government is protecting.

Alternate dimensions were developed in the in the early 2100's. Ever since, the government made an agreement with the government of the past. There were a few conditions for the so called "time travelers" to follow. First, any person existing outside the era should not alter anything in the existing era. Prevention of deaths, accidents, miracles, and other future altering actions are not allowed since it is against the natural law. Second, no one is supposed to know of the credentials of the time traveller. Such action may result to the non-existence of time traveling, as people will merely expect someone to patent the formula of alternate dimension shifting. And lastly, all people who were involved in one's duration on that era are subjected to remove any memory of that person. 

I was entitled a semiannual stay in this dimension, as my school funded my entire trip. After a world economic shutdown, capitalism ceased to exist. People and their talents were utilized to improve the world, and not much money was involved. I went around: seeing trees, feeling the grass and eating all sorts of exotic delicacies such as the burger. The nostalgic feeling of being a little child was running through my veins. I met different kinds of people, telling them I am an exchange student from a secluded island which seemed to be as civilized as the city. I went by the name Gabriel. Many people believed me. Everyone except for you, Isabelle.

You were interested in geography. Memorizing different states, knowing every island, and basically figuring me out. I violated every rule prescribed by the government, as if describing your future world is just natural. I was elated seeing your face light up every time I answer your curiosities.  We sometimes hung out by the lake, sipping our cups of what you call coffee and exchanged views on everything in this world. You taught me what values are, what faith means, and what happiness was. You told me everything that ceased to exist in my time, and I told you what the future upholds in mine.

I was coming close to the end of my trip. Finally, I gathered up all the confidence I have to ask you:  What is love? You stared into the murky waters of the lake, seeming deep in thought. You looked at me, gave me hundreds and thousands of definitions for love. You told me, love is having that strange feeling the moment you knew your names rhyme, knowing that he is from another time yet you took the risk of being attached, and having the absurd thoughts of breaking the rules for someone. 

I patiently waited for that adrenaline rush. For the blood to rush to my cheeks. For my heart to start accelerating irregularly. For me to feel this love I travelled in time for. But there was none. All I felt for you was empathy, as you sit there, with streams flowing from the corners of your eyes. I could not connect to you the way you connect to me. I am incapable of feeling love.

On my last day, I placed my remote sensor in front of your forehead. I wished you the best of luck in life. You gave me a bud of a white rose, placed it on my pocket and tapped it in place. You closed your eyes, signaling me that you are ready. I gave you a promise that we'll see each other sometime in the future. You knew that it was highly unlikely, if not impossible. And when I pressed the trigger, I was transported back in my era. 

And in about a week or two, I can't remember anything I have done in the past six months. I saw a decaying matter at the edge of my desk and threw it in my incinerator. And I tried to keep my sanity and not reach for it in the flames when I remembered what it was.

Not All Are Broken

The alarm goes off after I hit the snooze button for the 3rd time. I tried to peek at my alarm clock, and there it was. The bright red led light stared at me, letting me know how many more minutes I have to prepare for class. It was still too early for me, I predicted. But just as I was about to pull my covers back on top of my head, I was awakened by a loud explosion outside my window. Immediately, I looked out. It seems that the rage of the almighty Zeus is impending once again.

The rain was plummeting, as if attempting to reunite the earth with the ocean. The wind was howling, singing various songs of despair. My type of weather, I thought. I hurriedly dug into the pile of dirty clothes on the foot of my bed. I was never that type of person who keeps everything in place. I dragged myself out of the bed, struggling to be free of my covers who enveloped me in a sea of comfort. I have to get my phone, as soon as possible. Who knows if my professors cancelled the classes for today? That would be a delight. The downpour would make my commute very similar to the Trojan War. I would stagger through the slippery roads or even skip through the puddles in the streets. The roar of the incoming train would lead to my demise as it coincides with the ravenous thunder.

Ah, there it is. It's been under my pillow all along. Although I would not know either since I keep several islands in my bed. I immediately opened my email, and my inbox took me by surprise. I dropped my phone, and it was a good thing it landed safely in my pile of clothes. A tear fell out from my eye as I stared at the ground, waiting for it to swallow me. I could not believe it, he remembered. It was not a broken promise after all.

And there it was, the five love stories he promised he would write for me.

It was my senior year in high school. I was just as free spirited as everyone else. I'm not really the typical teen-aged girl, but I am not as different as one would imagine. I'm pretty normal, just your average wallflower. With a month 'til graduation, my emotions seemed to change together with the seasons. It was very slow, and then it would come all at once. The feeling of restlessness suddenly hinted with anxiety. Or when I was my happiest, a nostalgic scene would come barreling in to my chest like a ten-wheeler truck. The amount of adrenalin is coursing through my bloodstream. I was a free spirited girl, about to end a chapter in her life and start a new beginning. And most of all, I am in love.

I would say fate brought us together. It was last August, at the school's rooftop. No one was really allowed to go in there, but I am a person made entirely out of disobedience. I was there, playing with my guitar with a notebook and pen ready. I was trying to write another song, and that was the only place quiet enough. I was singing my heart out, letting the lyrics flow out directly from my head. Suddenly, I heard the door leading to one of the stairways suddenly close. I immediately hid behind a pillar, recklessly leaving my guitar and notebook in plain sight. Footsteps are getting louder and louder so I didn't have time to retrieve them anymore. A head popped out from the stairs, and I was so relieved that it was not a school administrator. I'm actually in big trouble if they found me here as I was a graduating student. It was just you.

"What are you doing here?” He asked as I came out from my hiding place. I rolled my eyes and heaved a sigh. "This is my comfort zone. I can't write in the midst of all the chatters in the cafeteria. And besides, I have a short cut to my hall that way. "I hurried towards my guitar and placed the cap on my pen.”Well, what about you? What made you come here?” I asked as I try to straighten out my crumpled song sheet. "I came here for a similar reason. I came for the serenity to be able to write the best poem in the universe." And that's when butterflies come in.

I heard a knock on my door, and I can tell it's from the housekeeper. "They canceled your classes. You can go back to bed now." Instead of feeling relieved, I was more troubled. I knew that having no classes would mean I have to read your stories. I could not make an excuse of getting ready, or cramming a paper due later. I have the entire moment for myself, and for your stories. Or should I say my stories.

We lay in the park while staring at the sky. There were no blankets shielding us from the prickly grass. No bottles of alcohol, unlike the couples who are probably making out inside a tent or by the bench in the outskirts of the quadrangle. "This is stupid.” you muttered, "The sky is covered in clouds. It's probably going to rain soon." I just stared at the vast sky, contemplating my relevance to the universe. Contradicting to what you just said, you laid still and remained to warm my hand with yours. And after a few minutes, it did rain. "Hey, can you promise me something?" I sat up, bundling our things and finally using the blanket as our protection from the rain. "Write five stories. For me." You looked at me with a puzzled expression, and I read what you were thinking. You are a poet, and never in your life have you written a short story. Yet there I was, asking for five. Your answer bemused me as you said with utmost confidence, "I promise."

I made a limp downstairs as I fix myself a cup of coffee. I am always teased by everyone I know as someone whose blood is made up of pure caffeine. I'm not going to drink this to keep myself sane, for the shock you gave me was enough to wake my senses. The smell and taste of coffee was very nostalgic for me. It was your scent, and it was your taste. The scent and taste of the moment we parted ways.

It was the first time in my life that I did not hit the snooze button. I was awake, and I had a staring competition with the red led light indicating my impending doom. We graduated a month ago, and you were set on leaving to Australia to get your scholarship. I got in a good university, but I'm stuck in this country. I'm volunteered with your family to bring you to the airport. It was an ungodly hour, but I remained awake. I stood up, removing the dried tears from the corners of my eyes and I got ready. I waited for your van in my driveway, as I sat there holding a box. A box that contained all of our memories- Polaroid, bottle caps, roses, song lyrics, and a lot more. When I saw a light approaching our curb, I plastered a smile across my face. I could not bear it if your last memory of me was that I was a wreck.

I pulled out a paper bag that was accumulating dust under my bed. It contained several postcards, posters and some button pins. The typical touristy stuff someone would send a friend who lives far away. I read the transition of your notes in the postcards, ranging from I wish you were here to I hope you are doing well. I brushed my fingers among the smudges in the ink that were evident in the cards you sent me. The feelings are starting to rush back once again, but I repressed it with more gulps of coffee. It was not bitter at all, and so am I.

It was wintertime when I received a message from you. Each email you sent was very different from the former one you sent me. You could sense that the distance was slowly ripping us apart, and I'm starting to accept that. The warmth of your presence was gone, and so are the butterflies. The time difference between us is keeping us further, and perhaps, love was not enough to bind us. Every element of love seemed to weaken our relationship, and the two of us can see it crumble. We decided to just end it while there was still amount of love left, for even God cannot save us. Your last words were, "I would still keep my promise. Never forget."

I'm glad your promise was not broken, but we sure are.