Thursday, March 19, 2015

Summer Rain

I see the sun bursting into the sky and the hot leather seat crawls with intangible flames as we drive into the open. It may be the hottest summer day I have experienced, and it bewilders me. Spring just came from what I call an eternal winter, but the avalanche won and it may have consumed what was supposed to be a fresh start. Now the sun is getting its revenge, and it's not pretty.

 "It's freaking hot, could I turn the AC up just a little bit?", Erica asked from the backseat. I called shotgun the moment I saw the forecast so I could have more cool air. The glaring sun exudes more heat than I imagined, so my cool air would not suffice at all. "Yeah, just a little bit please?", I regret not putting on sunscreen this morning. My pale skin would not hold up to this kind of heat, and I would have an unsightly blush throughout the trip. "It's turned all the way up. At this rate we may have to fill up again, so prepare some cash." He doesn't look very happy,  having to drive in the busy streets of L.A. with this kind of weather. We both love driving in the rain, but our friends insisted that we should go today. 

  This trip to the beach is the last thing we wanted to do. Our once happy days were replaced by shouting and crying at night. Hanging out in the back of his car turned into writing all night, and him playing games. Every thread of love is gone and dissolved by time and distance. I was not his other half anymore, and the three years we've been together seemed to pass together with the time.  As soon as we get there, everyone jumped out of the car and ran towards the water. We didn't even settled down and got dressed for the beach, we just all rolled up our trousers and some lifted up the waist of their skirts. We all had the thirst for the sea, especially how the sun is setting in the horizon and the water cooled enough for it to relieve our burned ankles. As soon as the sun was nowhere to be seen, we headed to the villa and unpacked our clothing. I was feeling feverish from the travel, so I decided to go out tomorrow morning.   

I stared at the ceiling for so long and then I heard the door creak. I slowly look up and I saw you standing in the doorway. "Can I come in?", you weren't looking pretty happy. My heart felt like it was escaping my chest, banging its way into my ribs and ripping out the flesh apart. "Sure, have a seat." I continued staring at my ceiling, and I can feel the tension arising as we wait for each other to speak."Um..", I stopped when we uttered the same word together. "No, you go ahead.", I wasn't sure of what I was going to say anyway. "So listen, you know that I have always loved you right?", I knew but now you don't sound sure about it. "Well, yeah I guess..", I said under my breath as I feel the waves slowly creeping up my nerves. "But lately, I've been thinking that maybe, just maybe..."  

Joshua was with Erica after all. He's been trying to contact me all week, trying to tell me. Since I have my finals and he's got work on the weekends, it was just impossible for us to communicate. "Sorry I had to ruin this trip for you, but it just couldn't wait any longer. I'm really sorry." I couldn't just tell you that everything was fine, because it isn't. There's never a good time for bad news, but you could've done it in another way. Tears slowly crept from the corner of my eyes when I begged for you to leave, even if my heart wanted you to stay and comfort me. Every fabric of my being pleaded for you to not do this, but you did.  

The waves crashed to the giants rocks where Erica and I were seated. I forced myself to just get over it, even for a while. The moon lights up the shoreline weakly, but just enough for me to see him. Joshua has always been important to me. All these years he has been by my side, and now I'm forced to be alone. I know that I can live life without him, it's just that I never thought I'd have to be. Love is so short, forgetting is so long. I hated the fact that he had to begin his break-up by telling me that he loves me. If only I could hate him as much as I loved him, but I never could. "Hey Erika, you better go back inside. A thunderstorm is coming...", I said in a wavering voice. "But it's the middle of summer! There can't be a thunderstorm.", she exclaimed. "Well I'm sure as hell it's going to rain all night.", and tears started flowing down my cheeks.

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