You're Gonna Be The One That Saves Me

06/23/13, 2:23 AM

I'm still affected by the caffeine I got from the coffee I made this evening. I decided to ingest coffee to finish all my schoolwork tonight, and have that Monday to review for Calculus. I'm not even a bit sleepy. I'm done writing my Philosophy papers about Buddhist and Islam ethics. I'm also done answering what I could in our Physics homework. I'm not sad, I'm just sick of this place.

Also, I'm getting really emotional starting this morning. It's probably because of my mood swings or maybe the fact that I am awfully tired. Sleep never seemed to be the answer, I had lots of it yesterday. It's just that I become exhausted from my hectic schedule anyway after my rest. I had a sleepless night then PE then another sleepless night. Sleep, but another sleepless night the day after that. Too much workload, even if I do try to manage my time.

My head is practically crammed with technicalities: from vectors to limits to philippine literature in the american era to atheist ethics- basically everything. I try to escape from them for a few minutes, maybe even hours, but I just get sucked back in. Sometimes, I do wonder if this is the life I want to have. If I would even consider this living. I don't really know.

I'm so pissed at everyone in this house. Everybody's just finding a way to annoy me then calling me a bitch afterwards. They should know their own boundaries anyway. I'm a tired, menstruating and maybe even sick person. Don't try to offend me in any manner. I'll just resent you or kill you in my imagination. Also, I have an issue with my brother. I've been saving up for Bazooka Rocks and he stole a 4-day deposit. That's 4 days of not eating what I wanted and depriving myself to meet my friends. He probably just spent it on some bullshit. He's fucking pathetic, and the spawn of satan himself. I know it's wrong to say this, and I am sorry God, but I hope that kid dies in a fire. Or at least he gets in a freak accident that would forcefully stop his stealing habits. That pathetic faggot.

I may also avoid WAGC, maybe just now or maybe for a long time. I don't want them to miss me, and I do not want to miss them. I should accept that they are not really a part of my daily life and I should never sulk due to their absence. Harsh, but it's the truth. They've grown on me- too much that it's actually beyond their supposed limit. We had fun days, but those lie in the past. There's not much that I could do about it.

I'm overthinking stuff, as you can see. That's all for now.